Are You Ready to be Jealous? Thursday, May 6 2010 

Because I have a volleyball injury (probably why old ladies shouldn’t play sports), I will let you know how jealous you should be in picture form. Please meet my weekend plans:

at

File:Starlight Theatre stage Kansas City MO.jpg

plus

multiplied by

equals

minus

equals

on Monday, which is not what I prefer to focus on yet.

Expect pictures from a weekend of sister debauchery sometime in the next few days.

Drunk College Idiocy Tuesday, May 4 2010 

The Badger Herald: News: UW student suffers serious head wound, struck by falling picture.

This is my coworker’s daughter. You should see the pictures of her head. Sixteen stitches, cleanly done but jaggedly placed from the top of her head down to near her left eyebrow.

So what the story doesn’t say is this. The picture (one of those huge framed things with all the frat boys’ individual pictures on it) was thrown off the balcony. By a dumbass visiting from Boston College. A dumbass from Boston College who fled from the police. A dumbass from Boston College who fled from the police whose father is, allegedly, a high-powered bankruptcy attorney in Chicago.

Bigwigs from the school and the fraternity have been wonderful to her. And the dumbass’ father, allegedly, convinced him to turn himself in. Which I’m sure is true…because the dumbass did turn himself in. And apologized to the girl. As if that does anything to pay her current medical bills or her future ones…since I’m certain she will get some reconstructive surgery to keep her from spending the rest of her life looking like Frankenstein.

I, personally, am so glad she wasn’t drinking at the time. I imagine a head wound of that size would bleed like crazy with a high BAC. I’m also glad she wasn’t, say, looking at the dumbass on the balcony…or she probably would have lost an eye.

So now I feel I’ve done my part to humiliate this dumbass rich boy from Boston College in a blog that no one reads on an internet full of stories about much bigger examples of drunk college idiocy. I say we all go sic a pack of rabid baby goats on him.